One night, I was in New Orleans having a drink at a bar. I started a conversation with a few young ladies before another guy joined us. I thought it was a casual conversation among mostly strangers. One of the young ladies said to the other guy, "You're not going to get your intentions off with my friend," implying he was hoping for something more intimate. He responded, "Oh, I don't have any intentions with her," and I chimed in, "Well, we are friends here, having a discussion. You do have an intention. Your intention may just be to get to know her and have a great time, but there's an intention." He took offense to that, which I found odd since I thought we were all just having casual banter.
When the girls walked away to get drinks, the guy turned to me and got more aggressive. "Man, you see I was trying to get at Shawty. Why would you, as a man, try to cut in between that?" I said, "Damn, my bad, bro. I didn’t know that’s what you were doing." I let him know it wasn’t my intention to cause any trouble.
I decided to leave. When I went downstairs, I noticed the two ladies, the guy I had words with, and another guy gathered talking. Something wasn't right. I could immediately sense this was a setup. As I tried to leave, the guy tried to bring up the subject again. By then, I had already tried to make amends, but it seemed like the guy just didn't want to let it go. To get out of the situation smoothly, I offered to get everyone drinks as an olive branch. I walked up to the bar, then used it as an opportunity to sneak out the front. I went across the street to another bar and up to the second level, where I could look outside. To my surprise, but not really, both guys and the two girls were outside looking for me. I'm pretty certain they were lining me up to rob me.
I tell this story a lot in my Understanding Imminent Threat class. You can see when you are walking into a potentially dangerous situation if you allow your situational awareness to help you avoid conflict. That’s exactly what happened there. I did have a firearm on me, but I didn’t want to get into a shooting. So, I used an evasive tactic to get away, got an elevated position to get a bird’s eye view, and ensured I got out of there completely without it escalating.
Just because you have a firearm or are skilled in personal protection doesn’t mean you need to use it. The biggest win is to avoid a fight in the first place. Avoidance is the best self-defense strategy. It's a tactic that doesn't require any fancy equipment or weapons and takes very little skill. Its biggest tenet is awareness—being sharp and keen to the things happening around you. This allows you to avoid putting yourself in unnecessarily dangerous situations or to preemptively remove yourself from situations that could potentially become dangerous.
Ultimately, you win every fight you don't engage in. By recognizing potential threats, planning escape routes, and having emergency plans in place, you can significantly reduce the likelihood of encountering dangerous situations. Here’s why avoidance is essential and how to integrate it into your self-defense strategy.
Understanding and Recognizing Threats
The first step in effective avoidance is understanding the types of threats you may face. Being aware of your surroundings and potential dangers is crucial. This involves:
Situational Awareness: Always stay alert to what’s happening around you. Pay attention to people, their behavior, and any unusual activity.
Identifying High-Risk Areas: Know which areas in your neighborhood or city are more prone to crime. Avoid walking alone in these areas, especially at night.
Recognizing Warning Signs: Learn to identify signs of potential threats, such as aggressive behavior, unusual loitering, or someone following you. Trust your instincts; if something feels off, it probably is.
Planning Escape Routes
Having multiple escape routes can be a lifesaver in an emergency. Whether you’re at home, work, or out in public, knowing how to quickly and safely exit a potentially dangerous situation is vital.
Home Safety: Ensure you have multiple exits in your home. Regularly check that doors and windows are accessible and not blocked. Have an escape plan and practice it with your family.
Public Places: When entering any building, such as a shopping mall, theater, or office, take a mental note of the nearest exits. In a crisis, knowing these routes can help you avoid panic and move quickly and efficiently to safety.
Vehicles: If you’re in a car, be aware of alternate routes to your destination. Avoid parking in isolated areas and always have your keys ready when approaching your vehicle.
Developing Emergency Plans
Preparedness is a critical component of avoidance. Having emergency plans in place ensures you’re not caught off guard during a crisis.
Family Emergency Plan: Create a plan that includes a meeting point, emergency contacts, and actions to take in various scenarios (e.g., fire, home invasion). Ensure all family members are familiar with the plan.
Workplace Safety: Know your workplace’s emergency procedures. Make sure you know where emergency exits and equipment (e.g., fire extinguishers) are located.
Travel Safety: When traveling, research the safety of your destination. Have a plan for where to go and what to do if you find yourself in an unsafe situation.
Practical Steps for Avoidance
To take advantage of avoidance strategies, you need to be proactive. Practice being alert, aware of your surroundings, and having a plan. Here are some practical steps to integrate into your daily life:
Stay Connected: Keep your phone charged and have important contacts easily accessible. Inform someone you trust about your whereabouts.
Blend In: Avoid drawing unnecessary attention to yourself. Dress inconspicuously and avoid flaunting valuables.
Trust Your Instincts: If something doesn’t feel right, remove yourself from the situation immediately.
Conclusion
Avoidance is a powerful, often underrated, self-defense tool. It can save you from conflict, robbery, or even worse. By staying aware, planning escape routes, and having emergency plans, you significantly increase your chances of avoiding conflicts that can escalate, resulting in injury or even death. A conflict that can escalate at a moment’s notice can drastically change your life depending on the outcome. More often than not, it’s just not worth it. The goal is to avoid dangerous situations whenever possible, reducing the need to get physical or resort to your weapon. Practice these strategies regularly so they become second nature, and you’ll be better prepared to protect yourself and your loved ones in any situation.
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